Sunday, July 17, 2011

My Chinese story, Chapter 3 part 1

Chapter 3 is longer, but my teacher hasn't finished correcting it yet.  This is the portion that has been corrected so far.

第三: 苍鹭的故事

苍鹭的伤又多又严重。那个老人把他从地上抱起来以后,他过去了。后来他醒来的时候,他不知道他在哪儿,也不知道这是什么地方。那个地方非常黑,但是他可能听水的声音。他不能动,也不能说话。他只能躺在哪儿。他渐渐得明白了他在一个洞里。

那个老人来看苍鹭的时候,他没说什么。他就是好好照顾苍鹭。那个老人
给苍鹭吃药,吃饭,还有他把他的伤都。苍鹭不知道为什么那个老人想帮助他。他想了一想,可是还不想一个原因。
苍鹭复原了一点以后,他又可能说话,所以他跟那个老人说,“谢谢,前辈。我不知道怎么你。“那个老隐士说,“不用谢。”苍鹭有一点讶异,因为他觉得那个老人一定是哑巴。苍鹭问他,“请问,前辈,为什么你以前没说什么?”那个老人没有他。
因为苍鹭还有伤,他不能走路,得住在那个洞里面。那个老人告诉他,“我教你内功,帮你。“苍鹭没想到那个老人也是一个功夫高手。他心里想,要是我可以请这个老隐士帮我一点,我能救我的兄弟葱绿刀了。哪有多好啊
Cānglù de shāng yòu hěn duō yòu yánzhòng. Nàge lǎorén bǎ tā cóng dìshang bàoqǐlai 
Heron's injuries were many and serious.  After the old man picked him up off the ground, 
yìhòu, tā yūnguòqùle. hòulái tā xǐngguòlái de shìhou tā bù zhīdào tā zài nǎr, yě bù zhīdào zhè shì shénme dìfang.
he fainted.  Later when he woke up, he didn't know where he was, and didn't know what kind of place he was in.
Nàge dìfang fēicháng hēi, dànshi tā kěnéng tìng shuǐ de shēngyīn. Tā bùnéng dòng yě 
The place was very dark, but he could hear the sound of water.  He couldn't move and 
bùnéng shuōhuà. Tā zhǐnéng tǎng zài nǎr. Tā jiànjiànde míngbaile tā zài yīge dònglǐ.
couldn't speak.  He could only lie there.  Gradually he realized he was inside a cave.
nàge lǎorén láikàn cānglù de shìhou, tā méi shuō shénme. tā jiù shì hǎohǎo de zhàogu 
 When the old man came to see him, he didn't say anything.  He only took care of Heron.
cānglù. nàge lǎorén gěi cānglù chīyào, chīfàn, háiyǒu ba tāde shāng dōu zhìle. cānglù 
The old man gave Heron medicine and food and also cared for his wounds. 
bù zhǐdào wèishénme nàge lǎorén xiǎng bāngzhù tā. tā xiǎngle yīxiǎng, kěshì hái bù xiǎng qù yīge yuányīn.
Heron didn't know why this old man wanted to help him.  He thought about it, but he couldn't think of a reason.
cānglù fùyuánle yīdiàn yìhòu, tā yòu kěnēng shuōhuà, suǒyǐ tā gēn nàge lǎorén shuō, 
When Heron had recovered a little, and he could speak again, he said to the old man,
“xièxie qiánbèi. wǒ bù zhīdào zěnme bào nǐ.” nàge lǎo yǐnshì shuō, “bùyòngxiè.” cānglù 
"Thank you, elder.  I don't know how to repay you."  The old hermit said, "There's no need for thanks."
yǒu yīdiǎn yàyì, yīnwèi tā juéde nāge lǎorén yīdìng shì yǎba. cānglù wèn tā, 
Heron was a little surprised, because he felt the old man must be mute.  Heron asked him,
"qǐngwèn,qiánbèi,wèishénme nǐ yǐqián méi shuō shénme?" nàge lǎorén méi yǒu huìdā tā.
"May I ask, elder, why you didn't say anything before?"  The old man didn't answer him.
yīnwèi cānglù hái yǒu shāng, tā bùnéng zǒulù yě děi zhù zài dòng lǐmiàn. nàge lǎorén 
Because Heron was still injured, he couldn't walk around and had to stay inside the cave.  The old man
gàosu tā, “wó jiào nǐ nèigōng, bāng nǐ yǎng hǎo shēng.” cānglù méixiǎngdào nàge lǎorén yě 
told him, "I'll teach you an internal energy method, it will help your injuries."  Heron hadn't expected this old man 
shì yīge gōngfu gāoshǒu. tā xīnli xiǎng, yàoshi wǒ kěyǐ qǐng zhège lǎo yǐnshì bāng wǒ yīdiǎn, 
was also a master kungfu practitioner.  In his heart he thought, if I can ask this old hermit to help me out a little bit, 
wǒ jiù néng jiù wǒde xiōngdì cōnglù dāo le. nǎ yǒu duō hǎo ā!
I'll be able to rescue my brother Verdant Blade.  That would be great!

My Chinese story part 2

第二: 苍鹭的故事
Chapter 2: Heron's Story
苍鹭璀璨黎明派的时候,炯炯头领请几个武林的人都去璀璨黎明派
Cānglù zài Cuǐcan Límíng Pài de shíhou, Jiǒngjiǒng tóulíng qíng jíge wǔlín de rén dōu qǜ Cuǐcan Límíng Pài
While Heron was at the Resplendent Dawn School, Headmaster Shining Eye invited some martial artists to the Resplendent Dawn School
璀璨黎明派的弟子比武。很多客人来到璀璨黎明派。客人包括石龙教的弟子。
gēn Cuǐcan Límíng Pài de dìzǐ bǐwǔ. Hén duō kèrénmén lái dào Cuǐcan Límíng Pài. Kèrénmén bāokuò Shílóng Jiào de dìzǐ.
to complete in martial arts with the Resplendent Dawn disciples.  Many people came to the Resplendent Dawn School.  The guests included disciples from the Stone Dragon Sect.
石龙教的将人叫无敌龙无敌龙将人想要让武林人都'顺我者昌逆我者亡',
Shílóng Jiào de jiàngrén jiào Wúdí Lóng. Wúdí Lóng jiàngrén xiǎngyào ràng wǔlínrén dōu 'shùn wǒ zhě chāng nì wǒ zhě wáng',
The leader of the Stone Dragon Sect was called Invincible Dragon.  Invincible Dragon wanted all the martial artists to 'submit to him or die', 
他真的想跟皇帝一样。他的弟子对璀璨黎明派的弟子很不客气。
tā zhènde xiǎng gēn huángdì yīyàng. Tāde dìzǐ duì Cuǐcan Límíng Pài de dìzǐ hěn bù kéqi. 
he really wanted to be just like an emperor.  HIs disciples were very impolite to the Resplendent Dawn disciples.

龙教弟子跟璀璨黎明派弟子比赛功夫的时候,石龙教的弟子都做鬼。
Shílóng Jiào dìzǐ gēn Cuǐcan Límíng Pài dìzǐ bǐsài gōngfu de shíhou, Shílóng Jiào de dìzǐ dōu zuòguài.
 When the Stone Dragon disciples competed with the Resplendent Dawn School disciples, they all used dirty tricks.
比武之际,葱绿刀跟一个石龙教的弟子赛功夫,
bǐwǔ Zhījì, Cōnglǜ Dào gen yīge Shílóng Jiào de dìzǐ bǐsài gōngfu, 
During the contest, Verdant Blade competed with a Stone Dragon Sect disciple, 
石龙教的弟子往葱绿刀身上甩毒药的针试图他受伤。
Shílóng Jiào de dìzǐ wǎng Cōnglǜ Dào shuǎi dúyào de zhēn shìtú ràng tā shóushāng.
and the Stone Dragon disciple threw a poisoned needle at Verdant Blade and tried to injure him. 
苍鹭看到了那个东西,因为他跟葱绿刀有八拜之交,所以他阻断那个毒药针,
Cānglù kàndàole nǎge dōngxi, yīnwèi tā gēn Cōnglǜ Dào yǒu bā bài zhī jiāo , suǒyǐ tā zǔduàn le nǎge dúyào zhēn, 
 Heron saw this thing, and because he and Verdant Blade had sworn an oath of brotherhood, he intercepted the poisoned needle,
可是毒药针伤他,他中毒了,也生病。他生病的时候,他觉得很乱,
keshi dúyào zhēn shāng le tā, tā zhòngdú le, yé shēng bìng. Tā shēng bìng de shíhou, juěde hěn luán,
but the poisoned needle injured him and made him ill.  While he was ill he felt very confused,

好意思。他让轻风很生气,也让冬月生气。后来他知道怎么办。
yé hěn bù hǎo yīsi. Tā ràng Qīng Fēng shēngqì, yé ràng Dōng Yuè shēngqì. Hòulái tā bù zhǐdào zěnme bàn.
and also very embarrassed.  He made Gentle Breeze angry, he also made Winter Moon angry.  Later he didn't know what to do about it.
比武完了以后,苍鹭看到了一个很奇怪的事情,他看到了四个石龙教
Bǐwǔ wánle yìhòu, Cānglù kàndàole yīge hěn qíguài de shìqíng, tā kàndàole sīge Shílóng Jiào de 
After the contest finished, Heron saw a strange thing, he saw four Stone Dragon Sect disciples 
弟子绑架了葱绿刀苍鹭追不上他们。
dìzǐ bǎngjiá le Cōnglǜ Dào. Cānglù zhuī bù shàng tāmen.
kidnap Verdant Blade.  Heron couldn't catch up with them.
后来他无意中地找到了他们的安营的地方。可是苍鹭不敌那四个人,
hòulái tā wúyìzhōng de zhàodàole tāmende ānyíng de dìfang. Kēshì Cānglù bùdí nǎ sīge rén,
later he unexpectedly found their campsite.  But Heron was no match for those four people,
他们抓住他还重重的殴打他。苍鹭的伤非常严重。
tāmen zhuāzhù tā hái zhòngzhòng de ōudà tā. Cānglù de shāng fēicháng yánzhòng. 
they captured him and severely beat him.  Heron's injuries were very serious. 

他躺在地上,觉得不行了。那时,一个白色头发的老男人来,救他。
Tā těng zài dìshàng, juěde bù xíng le. Nǎ shi, yīge báise tóufa de lǎo nán rén lái, jiù tā. 
He lay on the ground and felt like he was about to die.  Just then, a white-haired old man came and saved him. 
请看下回分解。
qíng kàn xià huí fēn jiě
to be continued

Saturday, July 16, 2011

My Chinese story

This is a story I've been writing for Chinese class.  The story is a summary of a novel I'm working on (in English).  To avoid spoilers, I've changed some of the details.  Below is part 1.

苍鹭的故事
Heron's Story

从前在一个遥远的国家有一个男人叫苍鹭。 他跟他的爸爸一起遨游
Cóngqián zài yīge yáoyuǎn de guǒjiā yǒu yīge nán rén jiào Cānglù. Tā gēn tāde bàbà yīqī áoyóu,
Long ago in a faraway country there was a man named Heron.  He and his father wandered around,
帮助人们,也做英雄的事。 但是他的妈妈不跟他们一起遨游,
bāngzhù rénmen, yé zuò yīngxióng de shì. dànshi tāde māma bù gēn tāmen yīqī áoyóu
helping people and doing heroic things.  But his mother didn't travel with them, 
因为苍鹭的时候,他的妈妈离开,再也没回来。苍鹭不知道他的
yīnwèi Cānglù liǎng suì de shíhou, táde māma líkāi, zài yé méi huí lái. Cānglù bù zhīdào tāde
because when Heron was two years old, his mother left, and didn't return.  Heron didn't know 
妈妈在哪儿, 不知道怎么找妈妈。
māma zài nǎr, bù zhīdào zěnme zhǎo māma.
where his mother was, and didn't know where to find her.


一天苍鹭的爸爸出去以后,也回来。苍鹭想要找爸爸,不过不知道怎么办。
Yītiān Cānglù de bàba chūqù yǐhòu, yé méi huí lái. Cānglù xiǎngyào zhǎo bàba, bùguò bù zhīdào zěnme bàn.
One day Heron's father went out, and he also didn't return.  Heron wanted to find his father but he didn't know what to do.
在这儿里找过爸爸,在那儿里找过, 那儿都没有找到爸爸。
zài zhèr lǐ zhǎoguò bàba, zài nàr zhǎoguò, nàr dōu méi yǒu zhǎodào bàba.
He looked here and he looked there, but he couldn't find his father anywhere.
苍鹭找爸爸的时候, 他见到了两个人,一个是男的,叫葱绿刀
Cānglù zhǎo bàba de shíhou, tā jiàndào le liǎngge rén, yīge shì nánde, jiào Cōnglǜ Dào,
While Heron was looking for his father, he met two people, one was a man called Verdant Blade,
一个是女的,叫冬月。 他们都是璀璨黎明派的弟子。
yīge shì nǚde, jiào Dōng Yuè. Tāmen dōu shì Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài de dìzǐ.
 one was a girl named Winter Moon.  Both of them were disciples of the Respledent Dawn School.
葱绿刀真像苍鹭。 冬月是很漂亮的美人。
Cōnglǜ Dào zhèn xiàng Cānglù. Dōng Yuè shì hěn piàoliang de měirén.
Verdant Blade looked a lot like Heron.  Winter Moon was a very pretty young lady.
苍鹭非常喜欢那两个人。 葱绿刀也很喜欢苍鹭
Cānglù fēicháng xǐhuan nà liǎngge rén. Cōnglǜ Dào yé hěn xǐhuan Cānglù.
Heron liked these two people very much.  Verdant Blade also really liked Heron.
苍鹭葱绿刀马上朋友。 不过开始的时候冬月有一点不喜欢苍鹭
Cānglù Cōnglǜ Dào mǎshàng chéng péngyou. Bùguò kāishǐ de shíhou Dōng Yuè yǒu yīdiar bù xǐhuan Cānglù.
Heron and Verdant Blade immediately became friends.  But at first Winter Moon disliked Heron a little bit.

葱绿刀苍鹭跟他们一起去璀璨黎明派的房子见他的爸爸。
Cōnglǜ Dào qíng Cānglù gēn tāmen yīqī qǜ Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài de fàngzi jiàn tāde bàba.
Verdant Blade invited Heron to come with them to  theResplendent Dawn School  to meet his father.
他的爸爸是璀璨黎明派很有名的头领, 炯炯
Tāde bàba shi Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài hěn yǒumíng de tóulíng, jiào Jiǒngjiǒng.
His father was the Resplendent Dawn School's headmaster, Shining Eye.
璀璨黎明派的房子在璀璨山上。 他们三个人到璀璨黎明派的房子去的时候,
Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài de fàngzi zài Cuǐcàn Shān shàng. tǎmen sānge rén dào Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài de fàngzi qù de shíhou, 
The Resplendent Dawn School was on Resplendent Dawn Mountain.  When the three people arrived at the Resplendent Dawn School, 
炯炯头领很高兴认识苍鹭, 可是葱绿刀的妈妈不要见他,
Jiǒngjiǒng tóulíng hěn gāoxìng de rénshi le Cōnglù, kēshì Cōnglǜ Dào de māma buyào jiàn tā, 
Headmaster Shining Eye was very happy to meet Heron, but Verdant Blade's mother didn't want to meet him, 
他不知道为什么。
tā bù zhīdao wèishénme.
he didn't know why.


苍鹭在璀璨黎明派的时候他见到了葱绿刀的堂妹,叫轻风
Cānglù zài Cuǐcàn Límíng Pài de shíhou tā jiàndào le Cōnglǜ Dào de tángmèi, jiào Qīng Fēng. 
When Heron was at the Resplendent Dawn School he met Verdant Blade's cousin, named Gentle Breeze. 
她是很漂亮的美人。因为轻风很喜欢葱绿刀,所以她也喜欢苍鹭
Tā shì hěn piàoliang de méirén.Yīnwèi Qīng Fēng hěn xǐhuan Cōnglù Dào, suǒyǐ tā yě hěn xǐhuan Cānglù.
She was a very pretty girl.  Because Gentle Breeze really liked Verdant Blade, she also liked Heron.

可是这样的事让冬月很生气。因为她暗暗很喜欢苍鹭,所以她对轻风很嫉妒。
Kèshi zhèyàngde shí ràng Dōng Yuè hěn shēngqì. Yīnwèi tā ànàn de xǐhuan Cānglù, suǒyǐ tā duì Qīng Fēng hěn jídù.
But this business made Winter Moon angry.  Because she secretly liked Heron, she was jealous of Gentle Breeze.


另外苍鹭爸爸出去的以前他给儿子一本功夫的秘笈。
Língwài Cānglù bàba chūqù de yǐqián tā gěi èrzi yīben gōngfu de mìjí.
Furthermore before Heron's father went away he had given his son a secret kungfu manual.
冬月看了那本书,因为那本书像璀璨黎明派的功夫秘笈,
dōng yuè kànle nǎbēn shū, yīnwèi nǎbēn shū xiàng Cuǐcan Límíng Pài de gōngfu mìjí,
Winter Moon saw the book, and because the book looked like the Resplendent Dawn School's kungfu manual,
所以她觉得苍鹭偷了璀璨黎明派的书。后来苍鹭冬月发生过很多误会。
Suǒyǐ tā juěde Cānglù tōu le Cuǐcan Límíng Pài de shū. Hòulái, Cānglù gēn Dōng Yuè fāshēngguò hěn duǒ wùhuì.
so she thought Heron stole the Resplendent Dawn School's book.  Afterward, Heron and Winter Moon experienced many misunderstandings.