[Pathfinder: Kingmaker] GM: "Wow, the cyclops has +41 Perception."
Player: "Not depth perception."
[Star Wars: A New New Hope]
The group includes a droid named A-R-D, usually pronounced "Ahrd".
GM: "To hit ARD..."
Player 1: "Would that be a ThARD roll?"
Player 2: "It's not that ThARD."
(In previous versions of D&D, there was a statistic known as Thac0, commonly pronounced "Thack-Oh", which stood for "To hit AC 0". This was used to determine whether an attack was successful. Only old-school D&D players would get this pun.)
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The warlock character was a teenaged boy who hadn't yet figured out how to talk to girls. He met up with one of the other PCs at a tavern, where his friend was dining with a pretty girl who kept trying to talk to the warlock. The warlock was very embarrassed.
He had a very pale complexion, so when the GM said the girl kept talking to him, the player described him as blushing bright red. The other players all had fun having their PCs make comments about why the warlock was so red, and asking him if he was sick.
The warlock had also taken the 'Mask of Many Faces' eldritch invocation, which allowed him to use 'disguise self' at will. During the discussion of his blushing:
Fighter: "You could have used your 'disguise self' to make yourself look like yourself, only without the blush!"
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The party had just slain three thugs who tried to ambush them in the street. The wizard had blasted one of them with a 'witch bolt' spell. After he died, she was so angry she blasted his corpse a second time.
The party had just slain three thugs who tried to ambush them in the street. The wizard had blasted one of them with a 'witch bolt' spell. After he died, she was so angry she blasted his corpse a second time.
GM: "The corpse jerks and dances. See, the dead can dance!"
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The group has a running joke from an old Star Wars campaign - when someone gets killed in Star Wars, we say, "Smoke comes out his blaster hole".
The group has a running joke from an old Star Wars campaign - when someone gets killed in Star Wars, we say, "Smoke comes out his blaster hole".
The Fighter in this D&D game is the GM of the Star Wars game. After the corpse was blasted a second time:
Fighter: "Smoke rolls out of his 'witch bolt' hole."
[Star Wars: A New New Hope]
Player 1 (singing): "Killing them softly with our guns, killing them softly with our guns.."
Player 2 (playing a droid): "I'm not killing them. I'm aggressively deactivating them."
Player 2 (playing a droid): "I'm not killing them. I'm aggressively deactivating them."
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The warlock has just demonstrated his newly-acquired ability to cast 'disguise self' at will.
The warlock has just demonstrated his newly-acquired ability to cast 'disguise self' at will.
Rogue: "You could be the king of dine-and-dash!"
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
Wizard: "I cast 'witch bolt'."
Fighter: "Which bolt do you cast?"
Fighter: "Which bolt do you cast?"
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The fighter and wizard got into a fight with a group of thugs. One of the thugs was named Ali the Weasel. After Ali the Weasel was knocked down, the wizard cast 'sleep' on him. Then the fighter picked him up and dumped him in a cart full of chamber pot offal.
Rogue: "His name's Ali Smelly ben Smelly now."
[D&D5e: The City Reborn]
The warlock demonstrates to the other PCs that he can communicate with them telepathically.
Fighter: "Can you hear what I'm thinking?"
Rogue: "You'd have to have a thought."
Rogue: "You'd have to have a thought."
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
GM: "You've got two lizards on ya."
Player: "Two lizard lasagna?"
Player: "Two lizard lasagna?"
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
The ranger was up in a tree, shooting at things. A fire toad set the tree on fire.
Player: "Doesn't this tree have treevasion?"
Player: "Doesn't this tree have treevasion?"
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
Two players were talking about a third player whose PC was recently the victim of a 'magic jar' spell, which trapped his consciousness in a container and left his body an empty husk.
Player 1: "This is your favorite body?"
Player 2: "It's where he keeps all his stuff."
Player 1: "This is your favorite body?"
Player 2: "It's where he keeps all his stuff."
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
The players were attempting to remove an evil sigil from a tree.
Player 1: "The tree doesn't expect that. I attack its limbic system."
Player 2: "Let's get to the root of it!"
Player 3: "Please, just leaf."
The players were attempting to remove an evil sigil from a tree.
Player 1: "The tree doesn't expect that. I attack its limbic system."
Player 2: "Let's get to the root of it!"
Player 3: "Please, just leaf."
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
The group encountered a portal to a realm of evil and were trying to determine how to permanently close or destroy it. The players were speculating on what their enemies would do when they found their portal unusable.
Player 1: "This portal is out of warranty. We can't work on it."
Player 2: "We don't support Interdimensional Portal version 2.0."
The group encountered a portal to a realm of evil and were trying to determine how to permanently close or destroy it. The players were speculating on what their enemies would do when they found their portal unusable.
Player 1: "This portal is out of warranty. We can't work on it."
Player 2: "We don't support Interdimensional Portal version 2.0."
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
The players had found two interdimensional portals in close proximity. These portals were both represented by doors, which they assumed were used to make the portal locations more obvious. They discovered that the portals could be moved, so they thought at first they could bury the portals. But they found that it was only possible to move the portals horizontally, not vertically, so they couldn't tip the doors over on the ground and cover them with earth.
The players had found two interdimensional portals in close proximity. These portals were both represented by doors, which they assumed were used to make the portal locations more obvious. They discovered that the portals could be moved, so they thought at first they could bury the portals. But they found that it was only possible to move the portals horizontally, not vertically, so they couldn't tip the doors over on the ground and cover them with earth.
Then one of the players had a brilliant idea: they would push the two doors together, face-to-face, and encase them in stone using a 'stone shape' spell. Any creature emerging from one portal would immediately be shunted through the other.
When last they checked the location, their enemies still hadn't sent anyone to reset the two portals.
[Pathfinder: Kingmaker]
The GM read the players some information about the abilities of hydras.
GM: "A hydra can always see you coming, even if he's too fat to move."
Player (as hydra): "'I can see you. Don't make me get off this couch.'"
Don't Take This Game Too Seriously, part 4
The GM read the players some information about the abilities of hydras.
GM: "A hydra can always see you coming, even if he's too fat to move."
Player (as hydra): "'I can see you. Don't make me get off this couch.'"
Don't Take This Game Too Seriously, part 4
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