[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
As the party were exploring an area full of undead, the shaman heard the sounds of cracking bones and rending flesh on the other side of a wall. Fearing someone was being attacked there, he 'levitated' to look over the wall. Beyond the wall he saw what appeared to be a huge mass of dead flesh and bone that had somehow been fused together. He also saw a creature burrowing its way through this mass from below. He asked the GM if he could identify the burrowing creature.
As the party were exploring an area full of undead, the shaman heard the sounds of cracking bones and rending flesh on the other side of a wall. Fearing someone was being attacked there, he 'levitated' to look over the wall. Beyond the wall he saw what appeared to be a huge mass of dead flesh and bone that had somehow been fused together. He also saw a creature burrowing its way through this mass from below. He asked the GM if he could identify the burrowing creature.
GM: "Make a Knowledge (religion) check."
Shaman: "I suddenly get religion!"
GM: "It's running down your leg right now."
Shaman: "The river god has blessed me!"
GM: "The river god is blessing everyone standing below you."
Shaman: "I suddenly get religion!"
GM: "It's running down your leg right now."
Shaman: "The river god has blessed me!"
GM: "The river god is blessing everyone standing below you."
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
The PCs fought a couple of ankhegs. Afterward they discussed whether there might be other ankheg broods in the area.
The PCs fought a couple of ankhegs. Afterward they discussed whether there might be other ankheg broods in the area.
Shaman: "What's a multiple brood, an emo?"
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
The party is made up of a nagaji (serpent-person), a tengu (bird-person), a suli (djinni-human hybrid), and a half-orc. At one point someone jokingly states that all of the characters are cannibals.
Nagaji's player (looking at the tengu's player): "I hear you taste like chicken."
Tengu's player: "I hear you do, too."
Both players look at each other hungrily and lick their lips.
The party is made up of a nagaji (serpent-person), a tengu (bird-person), a suli (djinni-human hybrid), and a half-orc. At one point someone jokingly states that all of the characters are cannibals.
Nagaji's player (looking at the tengu's player): "I hear you taste like chicken."
Tengu's player: "I hear you do, too."
Both players look at each other hungrily and lick their lips.
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
In our Star Wars campaign, the GM makes a crawl for every session, which includes an episode number and title. He plays them on his laptop for the players to read at the start of the session.
In our Star Wars campaign, the GM makes a crawl for every session, which includes an episode number and title. He plays them on his laptop for the players to read at the start of the session.
One week, he had sent an email to the group to let everyone know what options we had for things to do during our next session. He mistakenly labeled the next session Episode 50, when in fact it was Episode 48. One of the players noticed the mistake and corrected him.
When the session arrived and he cued up the opening crawl, it announced Episode 50, then proceeded to describe a long list of unpleasant things happening to the group, such as being captured by Darth Vader and taken to see the Emperor, culminating with our battle cruiser in flames.
After that he ran the real crawl for the real episode, Episode 48.
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
During a Star Wars game, three of the PCs were flying one-man fighters when they were attacked by some people trying to steal the fighters. One of the PCs piloting a fighter was a droid, who looked rather like Stormtrooper armor (if Stormtrooper armor was red and black). The GM commented that the pilots of the attacking ships were distressed when they saw a droid in the cockpit of one of the small fighters.
During a Star Wars game, three of the PCs were flying one-man fighters when they were attacked by some people trying to steal the fighters. One of the PCs piloting a fighter was a droid, who looked rather like Stormtrooper armor (if Stormtrooper armor was red and black). The GM commented that the pilots of the attacking ships were distressed when they saw a droid in the cockpit of one of the small fighters.
Playeer: "How can they tell he's a droid and not a guy in a helmet?"
GM: "He's got those beady red glowing eyes."
Droid: "I'm in Cylon mode."
Player: "So from now on you're running Cylon instead of running silent?"
GM: "He's got those beady red glowing eyes."
Droid: "I'm in Cylon mode."
Player: "So from now on you're running Cylon instead of running silent?"
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
The players got into a discussion of the kind of commands officers give in the Star Wars films, things like "Attack plan Delta" and "Fire at will." The GM was an ex-military tank operator, and he commented that when he was in the military no officer ever told him to "Fire at will," nor did he ever give that command himself - he just said "Fire."
Player: "Did you ever say 'Attack plan Delta'?"
GM: "No, but once I did pop up out of the hatch (of a tank) and ask the driver of another tank, 'Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?'"
The players got into a discussion of the kind of commands officers give in the Star Wars films, things like "Attack plan Delta" and "Fire at will." The GM was an ex-military tank operator, and he commented that when he was in the military no officer ever told him to "Fire at will," nor did he ever give that command himself - he just said "Fire."
Player: "Did you ever say 'Attack plan Delta'?"
GM: "No, but once I did pop up out of the hatch (of a tank) and ask the driver of another tank, 'Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?'"
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The shaman acquired a scroll containing the spell 'magic fang'. He informed the player of the brawler that he could cast that on her character's fists, feet, elbows, or knees. She then began to enthusiastically describe her character pummeling foes with various body parts.
The shaman acquired a scroll containing the spell 'magic fang'. He informed the player of the brawler that he could cast that on her character's fists, feet, elbows, or knees. She then began to enthusiastically describe her character pummeling foes with various body parts.
Other Player: "Your opponent has a bad case of Elbowla."
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The slayer failed his save versus a fear effect and ran away from the combat at top speed, screaming all the way.
The slayer failed his save versus a fear effect and ran away from the combat at top speed, screaming all the way.
Brawler: "That's not right. [Slayer] usually runs toward a fight."
Slayer: "He runs with style."
Brawler: "Screaming is a style?"
Slayer: "What happens in combat stays in combat!"
Slayer: "He runs with style."
Brawler: "Screaming is a style?"
Slayer: "What happens in combat stays in combat!"
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The warpriest of Iomedae killed a quasit with one blow and made a smug comment about it.
GM: "Oh, I forgot, when the quasits die they explode. The damage only affects followers of Iomedae."
The warpriest of Iomedae killed a quasit with one blow and made a smug comment about it.
GM: "Oh, I forgot, when the quasits die they explode. The damage only affects followers of Iomedae."
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The Shaman has been affected by a curse that reduces his Charisma. The GM describes him as feeling a bit demoralized as a result.
GM: "Roll a Diplomacy check."
Shaman: "I feel unworthy."
The Shaman has been affected by a curse that reduces his Charisma. The GM describes him as feeling a bit demoralized as a result.
GM: "Roll a Diplomacy check."
Shaman: "I feel unworthy."
Shaman rolls the skill check.
Shaman (sounding depressed): "Twenty-five." (which is a very good result)
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The party is on the move, with the warpriest, brawler, and slayer in front and the wizard and shaman at the back with the NPCs.
GM: "You've got all the scary-looking PCs in the front of the party."
Shaman: "We're business in front, party in the back."
GM: "You're in mullet formation!"
The party is on the move, with the warpriest, brawler, and slayer in front and the wizard and shaman at the back with the NPCs.
GM: "You've got all the scary-looking PCs in the front of the party."
Shaman: "We're business in front, party in the back."
GM: "You're in mullet formation!"
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The GM describes a neighborhood the party is passing through as made up of upscale shops.
Warpriest's player: "You see a shop with just a blank front and a Victoria's secret door."
The shaman's player and the brawler's player simultaneously roll their eyes, look at the GM and say, "Please, continue."
The GM describes a neighborhood the party is passing through as made up of upscale shops.
Warpriest's player: "You see a shop with just a blank front and a Victoria's secret door."
The shaman's player and the brawler's player simultaneously roll their eyes, look at the GM and say, "Please, continue."
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
In Star Wars, the party's Wookiee character raged and climbed inside an AT-AT full of Imperial Stormtroopers.
Pilot: "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear."
In Star Wars, the party's Wookiee character raged and climbed inside an AT-AT full of Imperial Stormtroopers.
Pilot: "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear."
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
After the Wookiee single-handedly overpowered the commander and pilot and most of the troopers aboard the AT-AT:
Jedi Padawan: "You only need one boarder when your boarder is an enraged Wookiee."
After the Wookiee single-handedly overpowered the commander and pilot and most of the troopers aboard the AT-AT:
Jedi Padawan: "You only need one boarder when your boarder is an enraged Wookiee."
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
The Jedi Force-grabbed the pilot of a AT-ST (the two-legged walking transports) and sent him flying.
Droid: "I didn't know those things had ejector seats."
The Jedi Force-grabbed the pilot of a AT-ST (the two-legged walking transports) and sent him flying.
Droid: "I didn't know those things had ejector seats."
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
Our party included an alchemist with a tumor familiar named Cyst. This happened after Cyst did something during one session.
Our party included an alchemist with a tumor familiar named Cyst. This happened after Cyst did something during one session.
Fighter: "Cyst a-cyst-ed."
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
The party members acquired some magic items that would allow a single individual to teleport to a specified location with a maximum weight limit of items. There were several such items and each one was capable of transporting a different amount of weight. We were trying to decide who was carrying the lightest gear and could take the items with lower weight limits. The party inquisitor has the Leadership feat. His cohort is a bard, who is also the inquisitor character's wife.
The party members acquired some magic items that would allow a single individual to teleport to a specified location with a maximum weight limit of items. There were several such items and each one was capable of transporting a different amount of weight. We were trying to decide who was carrying the lightest gear and could take the items with lower weight limits. The party inquisitor has the Leadership feat. His cohort is a bard, who is also the inquisitor character's wife.
Oracle: "How much weight does [Bard] carry?"
Fighter: "Well, she's always carrying [Inquisitor]."
Fighter: "Well, she's always carrying [Inquisitor]."
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
The party alchemist liked to dissect things. A huge demon spider had appeared in front of the party.
The party alchemist liked to dissect things. A huge demon spider had appeared in front of the party.
Oracle: "Can I make a Perception check to see if [Alchemist] is salivating?"
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
The party were trying to figure out if anyone had any teleportation device that could transport one person a long distance away to deliver a message.
Fighter: "I have a pathway pearl 7."
Cleric: "That's the weight limit, not the distance."
GM: "You could take yourself and one of your axes."
(The fighter uses a double-bladed +1 keen flaming axe.)
The party were trying to figure out if anyone had any teleportation device that could transport one person a long distance away to deliver a message.
Fighter: "I have a pathway pearl 7."
Cleric: "That's the weight limit, not the distance."
GM: "You could take yourself and one of your axes."
(The fighter uses a double-bladed +1 keen flaming axe.)
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
The Alchemist was describing something to another player who was absent during the previous session.
The Alchemist was describing something to another player who was absent during the previous session.
Alchemist: "Last time we found a 'rod of splendor', if you recall what that does."
Fighter: "It makes your coffee sweet without making you fat."
Alchemist: "That would be a 'rod of Splenda'."
Fighter: "It makes your coffee sweet without making you fat."
Alchemist: "That would be a 'rod of Splenda'."
[Pathfinder - Kingmaker]
The party alchemist as usual had a 'countless eyes' effect active, so he was covered in eyes.
Inquisitor (to Alchemist): "Try to get some shuteye eye eye eye eye eye."
The party alchemist as usual had a 'countless eyes' effect active, so he was covered in eyes.
Inquisitor (to Alchemist): "Try to get some shuteye eye eye eye eye eye."
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
One of the players had started the Adventure Path with a rogue, who died at first level when she decided to have everyone else leave the room while she disabled a trap - and then found herself unable to escape while being simultaneously bludgeoned, electrocuted, and drowned.
Later the same player's current character was about to disable a trap located in a small underground chamber.
One of the players had started the Adventure Path with a rogue, who died at first level when she decided to have everyone else leave the room while she disabled a trap - and then found herself unable to escape while being simultaneously bludgeoned, electrocuted, and drowned.
Later the same player's current character was about to disable a trap located in a small underground chamber.
GM (to that player): "Are you sure you wouldn't like to have everyone leave the room while you do that?"
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
GM: "The man is the lamia's paramour."
Shaman: "There's only one of him. Seems more like a unimour."
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
Shaman rolls for Diplomacy.
GM: "He seems hostile toward you."
Shaman: "I rolled a 3. I seem hostile toward me."
Shaman rolls for Diplomacy.
GM: "He seems hostile toward you."
Shaman: "I rolled a 3. I seem hostile toward me."
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
The party entered an ancient temple and ran into some mummies. We defeated them by setting them on fire. During the combat one of the mummies punched the party's druid.
The party entered an ancient temple and ran into some mummies. We defeated them by setting them on fire. During the combat one of the mummies punched the party's druid.
A little while later, after we'd also defeated some cultists and were examining the loot we'd taken from them, the GM asked for a Perception roll from the druid. After the roll result was reported, this exchange occurred:
GM: "You notice a black spot where the mummy hit you."
Druid: "Can I make a skill check to determine if it's mummy rot?"
GM: "Okay, make a Heal check."
Druid: "Thirteen."
GM: "It's some soot from where you set the mummy on fire."
Druid: "Can I make a skill check to determine if it's mummy rot?"
GM: "Okay, make a Heal check."
Druid: "Thirteen."
GM: "It's some soot from where you set the mummy on fire."
The druid's player had already made a save versus contracting mummy rot earlier, but the GM hadn't informed the player that the save had been successful.
[Star Wars - A New New Hope]
The Star Wars party had split up. The Jedi & Wookiee were fighting stormtroopers on speeder bikes, while the rest of the characters and NPCs had been taken captive by Ewoks, except for the Jedi padawan, who had hidden from the captors.
The Star Wars party had split up. The Jedi & Wookiee were fighting stormtroopers on speeder bikes, while the rest of the characters and NPCs had been taken captive by Ewoks, except for the Jedi padawan, who had hidden from the captors.
My husband played the Jedi, and I was playing the Jedi's padawan. When text messaging each other, my hsuband and I often use the poop emoji to indicate disappointment.
Jedi: "I send my padawan a telepathic message: 'I'm okay.'"
Padawan: "I send back, 'Everyone captured but me.'"
Jedi: "I send a poop emoji."
Padawan: "I send back, 'Everyone captured but me.'"
Jedi: "I send a poop emoji."
[Pathfinder - Mummy's Mask]
The party had just destroyed a construct that attacked them. It was the bloodrager's adamantine flail that made the final blow. The monk decides to pick up one of the construct's broken legs.
GM: "It has a size 32 foot!"
Shaman: "OMG, look under that kilt!"
Bloodrager: "I shattered it. You're welcome."
The party had just destroyed a construct that attacked them. It was the bloodrager's adamantine flail that made the final blow. The monk decides to pick up one of the construct's broken legs.
GM: "It has a size 32 foot!"
Shaman: "OMG, look under that kilt!"
Bloodrager: "I shattered it. You're welcome."
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The party shaman was originally a gardener on a nobleman's estate. He was initially uncomfortable and timid about using a weapon. As we prepared to face some demons, the bloodrager suggested that the shaman use a morningstar he recently acquired.
GM: "You get the feeling that fighting with that" (eyes the shaman) "not necessarily effectively..."
Shaman: "Hey, I've been fighting with my eyes open for at least a level now!"
The party shaman was originally a gardener on a nobleman's estate. He was initially uncomfortable and timid about using a weapon. As we prepared to face some demons, the bloodrager suggested that the shaman use a morningstar he recently acquired.
GM: "You get the feeling that fighting with that" (eyes the shaman) "not necessarily effectively..."
Shaman: "Hey, I've been fighting with my eyes open for at least a level now!"
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The shaman's spirit animal is a monkey.
GM to shaman: "Your monkey dives into your pack."
Bloodrager: "And then something wet trickles down your back!"
Shaman: "My soup!"
GM: "Is it split pee?"
The shaman's spirit animal is a monkey.
GM to shaman: "Your monkey dives into your pack."
Bloodrager: "And then something wet trickles down your back!"
Shaman: "My soup!"
GM: "Is it split pee?"
[Pathfinder - Wrath of the Righteous]
The slayer was having a bad day. He had failed two saving throws, and a demon had just dealt him a critical attack using a scythe for which the critical success damage mulitplier was x4.
Slayer (enthusiastically): "I'm dancing in my own blood!"
The slayer was having a bad day. He had failed two saving throws, and a demon had just dealt him a critical attack using a scythe for which the critical success damage mulitplier was x4.
Slayer (enthusiastically): "I'm dancing in my own blood!"
No comments:
Post a Comment